Cowboys & Aliens is one of those films that has a high-concept title that immediately elicits excitement from movie fans, sort of like Snakes on a Plane, except this title actually has cinematic traditions behind it, rather than internet meme hilarity.  “Cowboys!  Aliens!  Together!  In a movie!  Fuck yeah!”  Then you see who is behind the film.  “Harrison Ford!  Daniel Craig!  Jon Favreau’s directing!  Spielberg’s producing!  Holy shit!  The Kurgan is in the movie!  So is Sam Rockwell!  And The Duke’s grandson?!  Fucking sign me up!”  It seems like the perfect summer flick, a classic genre mixer that will be familiar, yet new, and sure to pack in the thrills you think of when you imagine a guy with a six-shooter taking on a snarling alien beast.  On the surface, Cowboys & Aliens provides the schlocky fun its title promises, however it lacks the overall substance that its pedigree has proven to be capable of.

The film opens with a mysterious man (Daniel Craig) with a strange metal bracelet attached to his wrist waking up in a field with no memory of who he is, or how he came to be there.  He wanders into a nearby town, and after getting involved in a local dust-up, the sheriff recognizes the mystery man as Jake Lonergan, a wanted criminal.  The sheriff is ready to send Jake off to be tried for his crimes, but a local cattle baron named Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), whom Jake ripped off in the past, wants to dish out his own brand of old west justice on Jake.  This conflict is cut short when UFOs show up and blow the town to Hell, but not before roping up a few of the locals and whisking them away, including Dolarhyde’s obnoxious son, Percy (Paul Dano).  It is quickly deduced that Jake has survived an encounter with these invaders before, and the metal bracelet on his wrist is a powerful weapon that can defeat them.  So, Jake teams up with Woodrow on a rescue mission, along with a motley crew of the townsfolk, as well as woman who seems to know more about the creatures than she’s willing to admit (Olivia Wilde).  Cowboys fighting aliens ensues.

The western is practically the genre that cinema was invented to depict, and gooey B-level sci-fi is always a treat, and in the department of seeing an outlaw blow a hole in the skull of a nasty monster, this movie’s got you covered.  The action is what we’ve come to expect from Favreau, who has proven himself to be a competent craftsman when it comes to popcorn blockbusters.  His movies always have a fun spirit to where even if what he’s cooking doesn’t turn out too well, the company was good enough to where you couldn’t get bent out of shape about it.  Cowboys & Aliens has a vibe you can dig, Daniel Craig fits the western archetype of the mysterious stranger nicely, and Harrison Ford has a gruff no-nonsense quality that makes him feel as though he just stepped off the set of a Peckinpah film.  The action is fast and violent, the monsters are slimy, and the landscape is rich. Despite these things it has going for it, the film never really comes together.

Favreau is a filmmaker who, if nothing else, usually puts together films with memorable, and above all, fun characters.  This is mostly a credit to the excellent casts he puts together, and the cast of Cowboys & Aliens is incredible, yet it never achieves the description of being memorable.  The film has eight writers credited, when you have that many cooks pissing in the stew, you’re lucky to get something coherent.  Cowboys & Aliens, for better and for worse, is populated primarily by archetypes, people like the mysterious stranger, the no-nonsense cowboy, the earthy Indian warrior, the wise priest, et cetera.  They don’t really go any deeper than the surface images those words conjure up in a genre movie like this.  In the end, I found myself answering “Not really” to the question “Would I give two shits if all of these characters got straight-up murdered?”  So, that right there is a major problem.

This is one of those lukewarm movies where I’m enjoying the ride, digging the look, rolling with the action, yet at the end of the day it’s merely disposable summer entertainment.  I don’t know about you, but I demand more from my big summer blockbusters.  I demand some substance, that special sauce that gives the flavor some layers.  Not to suggest that Cowboys & Aliens is completely vapid, far from it, however it isn’t a rollercoaster I’m clamoring to ride again.  I rode it once, thought it was just fine, and I’m ready to move on, but a good summer blockbuster will have you wanting a second go-round.  I think I can safely say that I’ll never see Cowboys & Aliens again, and I’m perfectly okay with that, I’m just not exactly okay with a movie that makes me feel that way after the fact.